Dear Ms. Wryman,
We are thrilled that appropriately, WhoDoesntLikeMonkeys.com is foremost in your thoughts and deeds and that you used your work computer on company time to write to us! The story you submitted is about a real monkey. While we unequivocally advocate reading stories about monkeys during work, at WDLM, our focus is on the socially important, politically powerful and intellectually cutting-edge world of “monkey-related” items — not real monkeys.
A SCULPTURE that depicts a monkey on a toilet has depth, inspires, and could theoretically end world hunger or change the outcome of an election. A photo or video of an actual monkey on a toilet is more for Facebook or other things people do at the office. For more on our editorial standards, please visit The Tao of WDLM.
If the real monkey story you submitted was about a talking monkey that wore human clothes and had a human job somewhere for a decade and no one noticed it was an actual monkey and not just a hairy short person who excelled at his job in senior management yet still brought the same thing for lunch everyday….well…then… yeah… THAT we’d publish. The story (link below) about a real monkey — maybe submit it to Ranger Rick magazine?
Thank you for your continued devotion to WDLM!
-Dave
Though we would never publish anything like this, the above story was provided by one of our more brilliant readers, Krim Wryman in MA.